Hey everyone, today we'll be diving in between the pages of Stephen Chbosky's "The Perks Of Being A Wallflower". In the novel, we follow the beginning of Charlie Kelmeckis's freshman year shortly after the death of his best friend Micheal and his aunt Helen. I know these circumstances sound very specific, but throughout the book, Charlie becomes an extremely relatable character. Once he begins his first year of high school he has a very hard time making friends until two seniors (Sam and Patrick) "adopt" him. Throughout the book, we see Charlie navigating new experiences, like attending his first parties and his first (unrequited) love for Sam.
As the story progresses, we see how Charlie perceives his mental illness and the abuse of himself and many, many others. His mental health becomes a major issue as he deals with depression, anxiety, and eventually a breakdown that leads to hospitalization. Despite his emotional issues, Charlie begins the process of self-discovery, healing, and learning how to cope with his past all before the end of the school year.
The Unspoken Distance: Charlie’s Strained Relationship with His Parents
I think Charlie is easily the most relatable character in the novel; he is someone who is extremely flawed and aware of it. He feels like an outsider in a community of people who are all the same, whether that be at home or school, regardless of where he is, he always feels slightly out of place. In his family, his relationship with both his mother and father was always flawed, even though the rest of the family was relatively close, this quickly made him the black sheep of the family. His dad expects a much more traditional sense of masculinity from him, which quickly results in his father neglecting all of his interests and issues. On the other hand, Charlie's older brother (who is off in college) is the model son, and this always makes Charlie seem inadequate regardless of how much Charlie achieves. Charlie and his father essentially become two men who live in the same house with little to no emotional connection. The man who is supposed to be fully committed to Charlie's emotional and mental development is a man who neglects him at each chance given and fails to provide the emotional support Charlie so desperately needs. Over the course of the novel, it becomes more and more evident how much of a burden Charlie is to his father. Charlie even goes as far as to say, “I don’t think my dad likes me very much. But it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t even know that I’m alive.”
His mother, on the other hand, feels, but she expresses it differently. Charlie's mother very rarely speaks, and if she does, she is building on top of someone else's thoughts. For most of the book, she doesn't even feel like a main character, just a background character who has been allowed to live in their house. Her "love" is extremely conditional, and she treats talking to him as a privilege that can be stripped away, which is odd, especially because she never has any deep conversations with him. Charlie's mother knows something happened to him, but whenever the chance to talk about it comes up, she completely ignores him. “I think my mom doesn’t understand me at all. She just doesn’t want to see the bad parts of me. She wants to pretend that everything is fine, even when it’s not.” Charlie is completely aware that his relationship with his mother is counterproductive but they both refuse to acknowledge it. Later in the book, it is revealed that his Aunt Helen had been molesting him, of course, with any real parental guidance, this could have been prevented, but his parents are too busy actively neglecting him. It is very obvious that Charlie was not someone who was born ill, but the treatment from his family built a foundation of sickness. Even though it is not his parent's fault that he was raped, the environment they set up allowed this to happen to him without notice. It takes a near-death experience at the end of the book for him to find out by himself, once again, with no help from his parents. Charlie never tells them, not only due to the memory issues but because he knows they would either not understand or respond in a way that would help him. Their relationship has this unspoken distance that quickly becomes dangerous for not only Charlie but his siblings as well.
Brothers, Sisters, and the Shadows They Cast
Charlie has a brother (Chris) and a sister (Candace) who are both of somewhat similar age. His relationship with his siblings highlight the weight of his family's issues, as his relationship with Sam and Patrick show just how beneficial two older, friendly, compassionate, and understanding role models could have been to him. Chris is the embodiment of his father in all ways, as he follows in his footsteps by being emotionally distant, absent when needed, and focused on maintaining an image of strength, control, and masculinity leaving Charlie (once again) unsupported and disconnected. Charlie's sister (unlike Charlie's parents) actually does attempt to be there for her younger brother, showing some level of care and concern for him. Unfortunately, she becomes another victim of all the issues in her family as her boyfriend Derek begins to beat her.
This is another chance for their parents to step up and truly put effort into their parenting and defend her. But instead, all they do is forbid her from seeing him and take no actual proactive measures to help her. Oddly enough, while Chris is slowly becoming the horrible partner that his father is towards his girlfriend Kelly, he not only consistantly treats her poorly throguhtout the entire relationship but ends up cheating on her which resulted in their break up. Candace is slowly becoming the voiceless woman her mother is, not only due to the fact that Derek is abusing her but by the fact that her older brother uses it against her in an argument and all the members in her family ignore her abuse. Through all of this, Charlie is still the odd one out as he is still the one who is hidden in the shadows they cast.
Growing in A Garden of Wallflowers
Sam and Patrick are seniors who are also wallflowers, quickly become Charlie’s first real friends they provide the love and care he yearns for from his peers and family. They help him open up emotionally and realize that everyone has their flaws. Their relationship takes a peek at a party where Charlie finally admits to Sam that he is in love with her and Patrick kisses Charlie. The issue is though Sam is Charlie’s first love she is not his first girlfriend and this public confession of his love becomes a public humiliation for his girlfriend who was also there.
The trio’s identity and relationship issues are the main cause of their distress. Sam has been traumatized by the experience of her stepfather molesting her, this severely affects her self-esteem and sense of self-worth. This is the main cause of her vulnerability to Craig's manipulation, he might exploit her emotional state to gain control over her or influence her to make bad decisions at any possible chance. But regardless of where his influence leads her, he can feed off her pain. But Charlie’s relationship with Sam’s vulnerability is completely different, his crush on her is so deep it not only grows over time (even as she dates Craig) he begins to idolize her and see her as a perfect person. This is not a perversion either at some point he begins to feel guilty whenever he views her in a sexual light, he is completely infatuated with her personality. He sees that she is also a wallflower in a way and embraces it not taking advantage of it. Patrick also has identity issues of his own which ignite his inner turmoil. Though he is openly gay, he is not accepted in his community and is consistently belittled by his peers for his sexuality. This issue is exacerbated as he struggles with internalized homophobia (that has been instilled in him by his father) and is in love with his homophobic boyfriend. His identity is made light of by his peers, himself, his boyfriend, and his family. Brad (Patrick’s boyfriend) also has a very similar family situation but chooses to deal with it differently as he takes the less courageous path and remains closeted. His father is the football coach at the school and he is the quarterback so he has a very strong image of being strong, athletic, and most importantly straight. This leads to Brad publically shunning and degrading Patrick at multiple points in the novel even though the only point where he feels truly loved and cared for is in secret with Patrick. Even though Patrick and Brad have two extremely opposing views in their community they are both still wallflowers at their core. Even Charlie himself creates a wallflower out of Mary Elizabeth as he humiliates her in front of their friend group when he confesses his love for another woman (Sam) in front of them. This is due to the fact he didn’t even fully understand his own emotions and he thought that being with Mary Elizabeth was what he was "supposed" to do, even if he didn’t feel a real romantic connection. Mary Elizabeth wanted someone who would listen to her and offer companionship, while Charlie was still figuring out what love and relationships meant to him. In many ways, their relationship was destined to be temporary, a learning experience for both of them as they navigate their identities and emotional growth. Forcing them to discover what a relationship should be and ending negatively for both of them.
The Wallflower Effect
Throughout the novel, we see how being a wallflower benefits Charlie in many ways. He not only learns an array of important life lessons, but he also forms meaningful connections with people who might otherwise go unnoticed. Charlie's quiet and reflective nature allows him to absorb the world around him without judgment, being a neutral spectator of the actions of people around him. This perspective helps him grow emotionally and eventually confront his own trauma as he starts to piece together how his past experiences have shaped him. This led to him being enrolled in a psych ward after gaining his memories back and discovering his Aunt Helen (the one family he always felt close with) molested him just like she once was. His journey is oddly relatable, displaying how anyone, regardless of their background, can flourish into a wallflower if theyr'e in a garden of wallflowers.
Wallflower(noun)
Person Who Feels Out of Place: Someone who feels disconnected or like they don’t quite fit in with a group, often standing apart from others in social settings.
Someone Who Grows in the Background: A person who develops quietly, growing in ways not immediately noticeable, often surprising others with their depth or talent over time.
Undervalued or Overlooked Person: Someone who, despite having much to offer, is often unnoticed or unappreciated because they don’t seek attention or push themselves into the spotlight.
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